A wave of mild hysteria swept across the region this week as towns up and down the highway reported dwindling fuel supplies. Drivers were spotted forming queues longer than a Centrelink phone wait, clutching jerry cans like they were rare artefacts from a bygone civilisation. Rumours spread faster than a harvest fire: “No fuel by lunchtime!”, “Servo’s dry!”, “Someone filled a Hilux AND a boat—selfish bugger!”

Local councils issued calm, measured statements encouraging residents to “avoid panic buying,” which of course triggered even more panic buying. One town reportedly saw a man attempt to siphon petrol from his own lawnmower “just in case.”

But in the midst of the chaos, one community remained perfectly, serenely unfazed.

Burren Junction.

While the rest of the region scrambled, Burren locals simply shrugged, sipped their coffees, and carried on with their day. When asked how they were staying so calm during the crisis, one resident replied:

“Mate… Burren Junction ran out of petrol 15 years ago.”

Author - Stephen Gardiner